Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

bcs

9 Thoughts to Ponder (Author Unknown)

The following was sent to me in a blanket email and I thought I’d share.

Number 9- Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8- Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6- Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2- In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1- Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

…and as someone recently said  Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long

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funny

DD407

Purchase one of my books today…………….and for those who read this too quickly and think their eyes are deceiving them when they see this tag line; this marketing method might get you thinking. Purchase one of my books at double the price and get the second one free.  See you did read that twice didn’t you 🙂  Actually all of my books are still priced very low at just $2.99

So pick up a copy over at Amazon.com after you get a free preview there and let me know what you think.  All of my book titles are listed on the left side of my blog page.  Happy reading 🙂  Pay no attention to the gratuitous image of a sexy woman as part of my marketing campaign.  I’d like to tell you she is included with the book purchases but for now she is not.  Stay tuned in case that changes 🙂

DD680

I’m always on the lookout for things to make life more enjoyable and easier.  With that in mind here is my list of 8 things that need to be invented immediately.

  1. Chocolate and ice cream and pizza with unlimited toppings that tastes great but has 0 calories per serving.
  2. SUV’s with 8 cylinder engines that get over 100 miles per gallon.
  3. Eyeglasses that actually don’t scratch even the ones supposedly that are scratch resistant.
  4. A universal translator that converts all spoken foreign languages instantly into English.
  5. A magnet like device that can pick up broken glass.
  6. An invisibility cloak.  I’ll leave it to your imagination as to when such a device will come in handy.
  7. A lifetime warranty on mechanical and electrical devices that is really all inclusive.
  8. A ring on a politicians hand that instantly delivers a sizeable electric shock everytime they tell a lie.  Rings of a similar nature would also be provided to journalists for the same reason.

You can get a free preview of my first zombie fiction book or my first five post apocalyptic fiction survival books by clicking on the book cover images to the left of this blog post, on my blog page, which will take you to the Amazon.com website. Then you can click on the look inside option which will give you a free preview.  If my zombie or survival fiction books interest you; then consider purchasing them.  Book titles include Biohazard Redacted Book 1 of the Zombie Apocalypse, American Rebellion Book 1 of the Revolution, American Rebellion Book 2 of the Revolution, American Rebellion Book 3 of the Revolution, American Rebellion Book 4 of the Revolution and American Rebellion Book 5 of the Revolution.

DD911

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